We stayed with Mandy's family, so instead of opening two nights sleeping... or rather, not sleeping... outside, as we did when we went to the St. Louis American Idol auditions, we just showed up bright and early this morning to register. Except for the bright part. It was about 5 AM and we'd spent the entire night gambling. The sun wasn't even up yet and neither one of our brains was properly functioning. This was all Mandy's idea, by the way. Because we waited until the last minute to register we also had to wait until the last minute to audition. There were 8-10,000 people there and lucky us got the once in a lifetime opportunity to sit on our butts for 10 hours watching 98% of those people audition before us.

I fell asleep as soon as we got in our seats. I dreamt that I was at an audition watching people audition from a very uncomfortable stadium seat. I woke up at an audition watching people audition from a very uncomfortable stadium seat. So it was a horrible escape.

Mandy nudged me awake so I could move to let her out to go to the bathroom. I was dozing off again when she came back. She had her hood up and tied tight. Instead of making me get up, she just hopped over the seat and sat facing away from me. I caught a whiff of cologne. I looked around to make sure Ryan wasn't hiding in one of the rows. I didn't see him so I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes.

A little while later, round of applause from the other side of the room startled me out of my snooze. It angered me, so I yelled, "Clay Aiken better be topless over there with all the noise you're making!" No one listened, of course.

Mandy said, "Ew."

"Shut the hell up, Mandy!"

"Why are you telling me to shut up?" The voice of Mandy came from the right side of me. I looked up. She was standing next to me in the aisle. "Someone stole my sweater while I was in the bathroom." I looked from her to the person wearing her sweater and back again.

"Who's in my seat?" She asked. I reached over, untied the hood, and pushed it back off the imposter's head. A blushing Seacrest was revealed.

"Who's this guy?" Mandy asked.

"Seacrest." I gritted my teeth. "He was just leaving."

"Hey! That's my sweater!" She pointed to the sweater Ryan was wearing. He whipped it off and tossed it at her. He hopped over the seat and smiled down at me. "Till we meet again my love." He ran up the steps two at a time and out of the arena.

Mandy and I settled back into our seats to nap a few more hours away. Before I could shut my eyes, I noticed a cute boy who looked just like a younger version of Clay. He captured my attention and I watched him audition. He got through to the next round and started heading towards the back with his orange paper. I got up and raced down the seats screaming, "Little Clay! Little Clay!" Before I made it down to the floor, I tripped and fell.

Next thing I remember I was waking up in a bed screaming, "Little Clay! Little Clay!" A nurse, wearing a mask covering everything but her green eyes, was above me patting my head with a cold cloth.

"I never even knew his name." I wept softly.

She offered me a sponge bath, which I declined. I just sobbed some more. "He looked like a little Clay Aiken."

"I know. I know." She furred her eyebrows. "You should forget about that Aikens fellow. I hear that Ryan Seacrest is quite a catch."

"Seacrest. Right." I muttered.

"Say his name again."

Weirdo. I thought to myself. She furred her eyebrow again and my attention was drawn to a scar above it. It was oddly familiar.

"Are you sure you don't want a sponge bath?"

I grabbed her mask and pulled it down. "Seacrest! I knew it!"

He held up the sponge and winked at me. "Sponge bath, my dearest?" I jumped out of the bed and grabbed the sponge from him. "Won't you just let me get quality healthcare?!" I threw the sponge at him and stomped out.

I took a cab back to the arena and hurried back in. I stepped inside thinking I was late and had probably missed my turn. I was wrong. Oh, how I was wrong. The line had hardly moved. Mandy was still asleep with her hood up. I made sure it was her before I saw down. It was, so I plopped down next to her. She was startled awake. She wiped her drooling mouth on her sleeve and asked me if I had gone to the bathroom.

"I went to the ER."

She looked at me blankly.

"I was gone for 3 hours!!"

She looked at me for a minute then curled up in her seat and went back to sleep.

I tried to do the same, but sleep didn't come easy. When I finally fell asleep I had some disturbing dream about Clay. He had blue eyes and he was trying to convince me to go on a date with Ryan Seacrest. I think someone was brainwashing me in my sleep.

Mandy woke me up when it was our turn to go up and audition. We went down to the floor and stood in line for a while longer.

After what seemed like hours, we approached the audition table. One judge was a lady I'd never seen and the other was the same prick that had turned me away last time. The one I had affectionately labeled "Jackass on the Right".

Mandy went first and did a badass rendition of "At This Moment".

When she was done, I stepped forward with a plate of lobster in my hand. I took a bite and offered some to the judges. "Lobster anyone?" They both declined. I took another bite and glared at jackass. He looked me up and down. "Aren't you the girl who threw a shoe at me in St. Louis?"

"No." I threw a piece of lobster at his head and looked back at the lady. I smiled sweetly as I set my plate of lobster down on the table. She smiled back and asked me what song I was singing. I had prepared a song this time and I gave it some serious effort. But they weren't buying it. Both Mandy and I got cut.

I picked up the plate of lobster and threw it at Jackass. It missed him by a foot, but he still got up and yelled. "Security!!"

I saw two security guards heading towards us. "We'll be back!! You haven't seen the last of us!!" I yelled as we bolted up the stairs and out the door.