“What are you whistling about?” I asked Seacrest. He was sitting on the bed watching me get ready to go to tonight’s Clay concert.
“Nothing.” He suppressed a grin.
“Yeah right. You always whistle when you’re up to something. You’re like that Rumplestiltskin.”
“You said rump.” He giggled.
“Don’t change the subject.” I pointed my finger in his face. “And why are you here?”
“This is my hometown. Didn’t ya know?”
“I always assumed you were hatched from a pod.”
“No. See my mom and dad-“
“No!” I cut him off. “You’ve already told me how babies are made three times this week.”
He opened his mouth, but I cut him off again. “And no, you are not demonstrating it on me. So stop asking.”
“Fine.” He stood up to leave.
“And you better not be in this hotel room when I get back.”
“Have a nice time tonight.” He smiled mischievously as I pushed him out the door and locked it. I heard him whistling down the hall.
I finished straightening my hair with the straightener I had christened ‘Li’l Clay’. I even painted it orange to match both of our hair colors.
I hired a limo driver to drive me tonight so nothing would screw this up. The driver arrived a few minutes early so I had him stop at Krispy Kreme. I was going to slip a box of donuts in for Clay. Maybe they’d get me backstage.
After we had pulled away from the Krispy Kreme drive thru, the driver rolled the window down and insisted I sample one of the donuts.
“I’m watching my weight.”
“You are beautiful the way you are!” The driver screamed.
I nervously grabbed the donut he was holding out and moved all the way into the back of the limo.
A familiar scene was drifting from the front seat, but I ignored it.
I was taught not to take donuts from creepy limo drivers, but my stomach was rumbling and it looked delicious.
I wolfed it down and sat back in my seat to enjoy the ride.
After a few minutes, the driver started singing along to the radio.
“Pick up the phone, dial up my number.”
“How about more driving and less singing?” I shouted to him.
I started feeling very sleepy. I laid down on one of the seats and closed my eyes.
The next thing I knew, I was blinking my eyes open. I was no longer in the back of the limo, but my vision was too hazy to tell where I was.
I sniffed the air. Carmel apple scented candles filled the room. “Mmmm, my favorite.”
I tried lifting my head, but it felt heavy.
I heard someone shuffling around the room, but my vision was still too hazy to see. I could make out the outline of a person in an apron and pink boy shorts.
Soft music was coming from the corner.
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you now that I've been lovin' you so long.
“Is that Michael Bolton.” I asked the figure.
He or she came up behind me and pulled me into a sitting position. Then they handed me a cup of hot apple cider.
“Drink up.” The voice said. He sounded male.
As I slowly drank the hot liquid, he walked around me lighting candles.
How can I blame you when I built my world around the hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends.
As the candles lit up the room, I was able to see the bed I was sitting on. It was covered with a zebra print bedspread.
“Where am I?”
The person sat behind me and began rubbing my shoulders. “Don’t ask questions. Just relax. Don’t you just love the bedspread.”
“No. I don’t like zebras. Not since that time I got attacked by one at the zoo.”
I tried to turn my head to look at him, but he held my head forward.
“There’s no need to ruin the moment by turning around.”
He massaged my shoulders harder. I do love me some rough massages, so I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.
Until he started singing along to the music.
“Tell me how am I supposed to live without you.”
It was the same off-key voice from the limo.
Before he could stop me, I grabbed his hands.
They were smooth and tiny.
“Seacrest!” I yelled.
He put one of his dainty fingers to my lips. “Shhhhh.”
“How did you get me here?” I looked around the room. “I didn’t hit my head that hard when I fell.”
Just then, I noticed the box of Krispy Kremes donut. I gasped. “You drugged me, didn’t you?”
"Oh, it wasn't a DRUG, just a mild sedative.” He explained. “I found it in Paula's dresssing room."
"A mild sedative? I can't feel my legs AND your voice sounds strangely robotic!"
He leaned closer to me. As the candles lit up his eyes, I could see nothing but black.
"Seacrest… what's wrong with your eyes?"
He said nothing. I sly smirk crossed his face and tongues came out of the black irises.
I screamed. They licked my neck and I screamed again.
“You taste like candy apples.”
I closed my eyes and tried to shake the vision of tongues out of my head. When I opened them, he was standing in front of me, taking his apron off.
I was relieved that his eyes were back to normal, but I knew the side effects of the drug were not finished. I had to find a way to get out of there.
Suddenly I came up with a plan. “You know what would be so hot?” I rubbed my hand over his chest. “If I could pour candle wax down your chest.”
He hesitated for a minute. "Um... like HOT wax?"
“Oh yes.” I rubbed my hand a little harder over his pecs. “I LOVE it.”
"Well, it's probably a lot like when I get waxed at the salon...so okay!"
When he turned around to pick up a candle, I noticed the back of his boy shorts said ‘SPANK ME’.
"Are those MINE?"
He blushed.
I grabbed the candle and dumped the hot wax on his chest.
He started screaming and I ran for the door.
I grabbed his cell phone off the end table, tossed it at him, and shouted “Call 9-1-1! I’m outta here!”
I could still hear his screams as I ran down the street with my thumb out trying to hitch a ride.