I hadn't been able to get a hold of Mr. Aiken for quite some time. His cell phone number has been mysteriously been disconnected. After some extensive work and soul selling, I managed to get his new number. But I cannot reveal my sources.

I called him as soon as I woke up.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Clayton."

"It's actually 4PM."

"I know, but I just woke up."

"Ah."

Beautiful men are men of few words.

"So I haven't heard from you in awhile." He said.

"That's cause you changed your cell phone number."

"Uh... yes. Yes I did."

"I'm very upset that I wasn't notified."

"I'm sorry. See, what happened... um... see, Kim... No, I mean Kelly. See Kelly dropped my cell phone into the toilet while she was doing her business in the bathroom. See. So it was ruined and all of my numbers on it were lost."

"Sounds fishy, but okay."

It did sound fishy, but I'm glad he changed it to Kelly. I don't like him associating with Kim.

"How did you get this number?" He asked.

"I have my ways."

Like maybe a wiretap in Kim's cell. But you didn't hear that from me.

"Okay. Well, is there something you called for?"

"I heard you're going on tour."

"I am."

"I've decided to come with." I said.

"Come with? How?"

"We can share a bunk."

No response came from him.

"I'll keep my hands to myself." I promised.

"Are you crossing your fingers?"

"Are you grabbing a boob?"

"Touché."

"Whether I'm on your bus or not, I still plan on going on tour with you. I've already got tickets for 30 out of the 48 shows."

"Where'd you get that kind of money?" He asked.

Who did he think he was? Concerning himself with what goes on in my bedroom.

"That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."

"I'd like to ask you to refrain from using that word."

"What word? Business?"

"No... Uh..." He cleared his throat and spoke softly. "Damn."

"Ah. Okay."

"And don't use the word 'affairs' either. It's not right."

"Alright. I'll add those to my little notebooks of forbidden words."

I pulled out my little black and white notebook. "I'm putting 'damn' and 'affairs' right underneath 'ass' and 'carnal'."

He screamed like a girl and hung up the phone. Was it something I said?