My lack of entries is due in part to my spending the past week in the county jail. The warden didn't throw a party, but he did try to make out with me… several times.

On April 17, authorities knocked down my door and ransacked my apartment. Pat tried to stop them, but then cheerfully agreed with their interrogation after they ripped the poster of Clay off the wall. He chuckled in amusement as they stuck the poster in an evidence bag. They confiscated my computer and carted me off to prison. Luckily, I was able to use an alias, so my parents will never know. I've shamed them enough. Here's the local news article.

During my incarceration, I wrote on toilet paper (with my own blood) a play entitled Solitaire. I beat up several other prisoners when they outwardly refused to perform it with me and denied that Clay was the epitome of beauty. Then they put me in solitaire confinement. It was very fitting.

Alyssa adamantly refused to come visit me. She insisted she would not "support the insolence". She would just stand outside the outer wall of my cell and play "8th World Wonder" over and over to remind me why I was there. I knew it was her from the mocking laughter I heard in-between repeats. But the jokes on her, I like that song.

To show her gratitude for not ratting me out to the cops, Maya sent me cakes and pies with files inside. But I love me some chocolate and I ate right through them. She could've warned me they were in there.

I was sent home yesterday. My computer was returned safe and sound, all 800,000 pictures of Clay still intact. Technically, there are only 796,585, but who's counting.