I wasn’t able to obtain tickets to tonight’s show in Raleigh, because as I was told, I’m “simply not allowed within the borders of North Carolina.”

Clay has again changed his cell phone number. I tried for weeks to get his new number, to no avail. Being as how this was his last stop on the tour, I figured he’d be spending the next few days visiting Mamma Faye before heading back to the grime of LA. I knew Faye’s home number, so I planned to call him there after tonight’s show.

On the way home to make the call, I passed a house with a boat for sale. It gave me the idea to call with the pretense of wanting to buy a boat. A disguised voice and a lie about a boat they didn’t even own was sure to buy me a few minutes of phone time.

I locked myself in the bathroom, so as not to be disturbed, and dialed Mamma Faye’s number.

The phone rang 3 times before Clayton’s southern drawl came over the line.

“Hello?”

His voice oozed into my ear like honey. My throat went dry and I was unable to respond.

He said hello again.

“Uh… Hello?” I forgot to disguise my voice, but since it cracked on the hello, he had no idea it was me he was talking to.

“Can I help you?”

I cleared my throat and changed my voice. “Uh, yes, young man. You can. I’m calling about the boat for sale.”

“We don’t have a boat… wait, did we get a boat?”

He covered the phone and yelled. “Mamma? Did we get a boat?!”

“No!” His mom’s voice hollered in the distance.

“I’m sorry. We don’t have a boat.”

“I think you do.”

“I don’t have a boat.”

“Oh but you do.” I contradicted. “A BIG boat.”

“Um…”

“A big strong boat.” I emphasized the words big and strong. He coughed nervously.

“So tell me about this… boat.”

His voice got nervous. “I gotta go.”

“That’s no way to sell a boat.”

“I’m not selling a boat.”

“Perhaps sometime you can take me out to the lake and teach me how to drive it.”

“Actually, um…” He gulped. “I’m kind of afraid of water.”

“You’re afraid of water?”

“You can drown in a glass of water!”

“This is true. This is true.” I said. “But we both know I’m not talking about a boat.”

“Yeah. That’s why I have to go now.”

“Clayton… Your flower has blossomed and I want to be the one to pick it.”

I had let go of the disguised voice.

“You sound familiar.” He said.

“Stop changing the subject.”

“Patti!”

“Say my name again.”

He got snarky and frightened me, so I hung up.

Later on, I got a call from a man asking me about a boat for sale. 20 bucks says it was Ryan.